we made out on top of his cat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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