Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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