Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
wow bdsm is so cute
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