There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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