Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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