it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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