He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
