I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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