just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
