Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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