i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Is it penis luge time yet?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
