Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
