She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
