we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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