my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
