I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
