My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
