...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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