After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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