There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
