My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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