She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize