Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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