Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Randomize
