So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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