I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
