It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
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You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
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Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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