My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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