We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize