"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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