That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
