I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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