i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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