i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
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Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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