using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
