please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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