i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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