Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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