i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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