fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
