this beer tastes like vomit already
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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