i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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