Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize