dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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