Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
