He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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