How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
