i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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