does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
