so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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