Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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