This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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