FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
