Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
