But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
