were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize