Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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