you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I got her a Nickelback box set.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize