I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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