1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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